Bambina Piccola Graziosa

Yeah, it's been awhile I guess.

I dunno what to say. We found out a lotta things, but it's all mixed up. Like, I know what happens years from now, but not now. I don't get it. I can see that future and see that it's me in it, but it don't make sense with who I am now.

And ... yeah, on that plane, things're all fucked up.

It is way too freakin' cold to be out here today.

I want to slap that mick's grin right off his damn face whenever he looks at me. Where the hell does he think he's got the right to come around and sneer at my family and what we do and blah blah blah. His dad ain't no better - hell, he's worse. At least my dad's got an established line of the business.

Luca wasn't there to get me after school today, so I came home on my own and found Johnnie and a few of his idiot friends hangin' around in the house. There were a bunch of cars parked out front - I recognized Luca's and Tony's, and I know they don't come over for no social calls. Plus, Dad was home and he's never here during the day unless there's somethin' serious goin' on.

So I come in and Johnnie jumps through the freakin' roof. He's goin' off about how I need to leave, how I should get out and go visit my friends, how he should take me out to a movie 'cause we never do nothin' together anymore - yeah, right. You can't fool me with your crap, little brother. So I start yellin' and he hollers back.

So then Dad comes up 'cause we're making so damn much noise, and I guess it's distracting him from the "noise" that's goin' on in the basement, because he starts cursin' at Johnnie and whappin' him, right in front of his friends and me and everybody. He don't ever do that in front of me. Says I'm his little girl and I shouldn't see nothin' like that. Well, he smacked him but the real clockin' started when he told Johnnie's friends to take a hike.

What a freakin' moron. He can't even keep his damn sister out of the house. How's he ever gonna run business? Can't say I feel too bad for the little idiot.

And it ain't like I never seen blood before.

They ain't supposed to do that shit in our house, anyway. What the fuck's up with that?

I swear to God Almighty, I can't get no freakin' sleep around here.

It's always people that Dad knows, or Johnnie's low-life friends peekin' around tryin' to find out what I'm doin' - nothin' you'll ever get to see, pal, so buzz off! Or when there's no one here, there's always the calls.

"Ali, I'm lost."
"Ali, the cops are comin'."
"Ali, I left my brain at the bottom of the fuckin' river along with Ricky, who we sorta forgot to sink all the way."

I'm sick and damn tired of fixin' all this shit for him. How'd Dad and the rest like to find out that it's his goddamn sister who comes out and saves his ass?

I'd get clocked and he'd get off.

It's just not fair.